Entry #10 Sailing trip Continued

Dear Journal,

So as I sat on the bow of the boat, as far away as I could get from Jack, my world stopped. As my mind reeled. My heart was broken but at that point,  I was too angry to feel that yet.  No one ever talked to me or said things like he did that day. We’d never even had so much as a cross word before, so I didn’t know how to fight back so I just didn’t.  His sandwich was still on the floor of the boat and he seemed to stomp around and yank “lines” and basically had to sail by himself. It wasn’t a big boat but I wasn’t sure what to do. He still seemed pretty mad and I kept replaying it all in my head as if I had a rewind button. At one point he did a turn about and saw that I was crying which infuriated me because I did not want him to see. But when he saw the tears streaming down my face asI quickly wiped them away,  something seemed to click in him and though he didn’t say anything I could tell the rage he’d been in, left as fast as it had come.

He managed to pull the boat out without my help. I am not sure how he did it because I walked up the ramp and sat on a bench near the parking lot. When he finally pulled up he rolled down the window and asked me to get in. I just stared at  him, thinking that he must think that I was crazy to really believe that I would climb in that car with someone who had behaved like a lunatic for whatever reason, I still was not sure of. “Come on Keri, I promise that I will just drive you home.” Jack pleaded with me and since I couldn’t think of anything else to do other than call my parents  to come and pick me up, I got in. I leaned against the door, and looked out the window and I cried all the way home.

tears

 

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7 thoughts on “Entry #10 Sailing trip Continued

  1. Poor Keri, Especially when we are so young we tend to forgive more because we don’t understand the undertones of what lies ahead. These are the early warning clues that unfortunately many of us don’t realize the severity.

    • Deb
      Hopefully these entries will show just that. How it all starts out so subtley. Starting out with self worth and the fantasy of how you believe it should be. And how we start out strong but the fantasy becomes so important that we slowly begin to overlook the wrongs committed against us. And before we know it, we are accepting the bad behavior regularly.
      Thanks for your insights!

  2. This is so good. I’m hooked. Now what happens? Do you still want to discuss editing for you? In a previous email months ago I made some suggestions to help you improve this right away without changing much. Are you still interested? Are you still wanting to publish this? I think it would make a great book and story!

    • Steve,
      I reeeeally appreciate your offer and YES, YES, YES! I need help. Though right now I am just trying to get this out. Who knows if all those twenty chapters that I already have completed in rough draft form, may just be the framework for the foundation and this exercise may te the dry wall! I feel that I need to do this and I’d love feedback but I think until I have it all out in this format, I am not emotionally ready to accept any help. All those chapters I have written in second person format may not be the way I want to go. I think as Keri becomes more alive I might want to write my book in first person. I’d love to hear everyone’s feedback! Even if I can get just a few interested. I also have not figured out if I want to incorporate a spiritual aspect…. I do know that I want there to be a redeeming message.
      xoxo
      k

      • I love the redemption idea. After all, that’s what our lives are ultimately all about, our redemption by Christ to eternal life. I hope you will pursue redemption as your underlying message. That will enhance the interest and viability of your story, in my opinion, immensely..

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