So I got in the car. I wasn’t thinking about anything but getting home. Everything else seemed like a camera out of focus. The dreams I’d begun to imagine with him all were just shattered inside a few minutes. Jack drove a few hundred yards and parked right outside the launching gate entrance, away from the traffic of exiting boaters. My heart pounded. What was he going to do? I wanted to protest and ask him to just drive but I didn’t know how he’d react. All of a sudden, I felt as if I didn’t know anything about him and realized that maybe that is why Laurie was so unhappy that we’d started dating. She knew more than she shared. Maddie was her sister and Jack and Maddie dated for over a year.
My mind couldn’t seem to stop. I was numb and angry and all those plans, oh yeah well, THEY were all NOT going to happen! All those weeks we’d spent together just seemed like a waste now. The air was so thick. I kept wiping my eyes because for some reason I felt like crying even though I felt mad more than sad. I was so annoyed with myself. I didn’t want him to think I cared. I just wanted him to drive! I wanted to scream “DRIVE!” It was so stupid we were sitting there in silence with his stupid boat hooked to the back of his car and I was afraid to get mad because I didn’t want to upset him again so that he’d take me home.
So there we sat until he leaned over and lay his arm across the steering wheel and then put his head on it and sat that way for a long time. I mean a real long time. I kind of started getting mad because I just wanted to go home. I didn’t know what to expect. Was he mad or frustrated or too upset to drive? I didn’t know. But I did know that I just wanted him to turn on the key and move.
I almost was going to say something, not sure what exactly but I did know that I didn’t want to sit there all day. So just as I began to open my mouth, he started crying, telling me how sorry he was and how what had happened had nothing to do with me and how he knew that we couldn’t be together and that he always screwed everything up with his temper