Journal Entry #14 Soaring

 

reading the paper

Dear Journal,

Jack and I were lying around reading the Sunday paper. His dad was supposed to be gone for the day and so we had the place to ourselves. I tried to imagine what it would be like if the apartment was ours. The sun was hot on the floor where we read and the warm breeze was making the curtains move back and forth.  I rolled over on the page he was reading and we started kissing. I’d be happy just kissing but of course Jack seems to always push for more. I jumped up not wanting to get caught in an embarrassing situation since we’ve had some close calls before when his dad would come home unexpectedly and since it was the weekend, I was not taking any chances.

washing car spitfire

I pulled him up and told him that it was too nice to stay inside and suggested that we should go and wash his car. So he relunctantly to put it mildly followed me. I pulled out the buckets and rags and hose from the storage cabinet while Jack pulled his car up by the faucet. I had a little tee shirt on with a tiny picture of Micky on the left hand pocket and was wearing some short cut offs and it was already pretty hot for so early in the morning, so I didn’t care if I got wet. We splashed around barefooted, soaping up the car. Suddenly Jack sprayed my shirt with the hose and grinned. I looked down and forgot that earlier that morning he’d removed my bra and I’d absent mindly stuck it in my purse during a moment of passion, not wanting to leave it laying around for his dad to find. “Jaaaaack dooooon’t” I begged him to stop, hugging myself as he laughed. Luckily no one drove by right away and I had fun teasing him as I danced around and then squirted the hose right in the center of his cut offs.

washing cars

Everything with Jack is so fun lately. We laugh all the time. For a while I felt like I was walking on eggshells, so worried about what would tick him off like before but we have not had a lot of problems. As we put all the car washing things away we passed Jack’s motorcycle. and he asked me if I wanted a ride. Normally, I’d have had to call and ask my mom but lately I have thought what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Right? So Jack pulled out another helmet and I ran up to get my purse and bra! And shoes on and we were off. It was such a nice day. I love riding with Jack. I love breathing him in and feeling so close as I wrap my arms around his waist. The muscles in his back are hard from when he used to play water polo in school and when I am back there with my arms wrapped around him,  I wish that I could stay there forever. Sometimes when I am at school, I think about those times, the times when I am just riding around with Jack and wish that was where I was.

motorcycle2

We ended up on the cliffs near where I live. As we drove up and saw the radio controlled sail planes he pointed and asked me if I wanted to stop and I nodded. So we pulled over and Jack looked like a little boy in a toy store. He was so cute and I loved watching him as he talked to the owners of the planes. For a while we just sat quietly and watched them swoop and land and catch thermals. It was incredible.

radio control sail planes in PV

As we were sitting there Jack told me about a place not too far from there where there were real ones. “Lets go!” I suggested and he looked at me and said “Really?” It was still early, barely noon.   “Sure! Why not?” I asked him. And he looked so happy! We rode home and dropped off his bike and jumped in the car and headed to Lake Elsinore.driving couple

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3 thoughts on “Journal Entry #14 Soaring

  1. Diane, I continue to be intrigued by Keri’s story. I can see the progression of the relationship into one of abuse and control by Jack. You’re accomplishing that very subtlety. You’re creating great visual images.

    I’m not sure about the wet tee shirt part. Although that may have happened to you, is that an image you want to leave with your readers, who are, hopefully, young women or teenage girls? Women who have gone through, or are going through abuse? Quite possibly sexual abuse? It creates a strong visual impact. It did for me. It reminded me of a car wash scene from the 1963 Paul Newman movie, Cool Hand Luke. Sorry. I’m an editor and writer but I’m still a guy. I have a little testosterone left. (grin). [image: Inline image 1]Something to think about. The questions I think we ought to consider with every chapter: Does this (chapter, passage) convey the message I’m trying to convey? Does this (chapter, passage) contribute to my message I want my readers to take away from this book?

    I wanted to ask you, what are your plans for the photos you have in Keri’s journal? Are they just to break up the journal entries for the readers you have on your blog? You probably already know that for anything you publish, whether in ebook or regular publisher format, you need to obtain copyright permission for any photos someone else published, regardless of where you get them, Google, Flickr or wherever.

    Let me know what you think. You’re doing a fantastic job. You’re a much better writer than you give yourself credit for. This story will sell. So many other women and men have gone through this. It will be good medicine for all your readers.

    On Wed, Jan 29, 2014 at 9:40 AM, keris journal

    • Steve,
      Thank you for saying that! I am trying to weave this subtle message in my posts about how when you are young there are red flags but without experience we are less aware of them. As an adult reader, it may almost feel frustrating at times to follow this story because it is as if you are up on a hill all knowing, seeing things so much more clearly from your vantage point of experience but can’t say “Hey Keri… LOOK OUT! But Keri sees the warning signs and writes about being aware of them at times but is so wrapped up in her own co-dependency she finds that her need to make Jack happy creates a wall of denial.

      Keri continues to know that there are problems but slowly as Jack manipulates her she begins her journey of denial refusing to see that there is anything wrong. Though from the first sign of abuse she recognizes that there are issues but as you will see, she takes on the job of fixing his life, promising that she will never leave him. etc…

      As for the pictures, you guessed right. I just use them to break up things for my blog readers. I enjoy the process of finding the right pics and having a library of ones that I can choose from as I write almost as much as I like writing the words! It is kind of an extra little talent for me… like a scrapbooker etc… smile. But I don’t know about the rules so it would scare me to use them for profit without knowing the legality of it all. Most chapter books don’t have pictures anyway.

      Okay so now for the tee shirt scene. I feel that I have to tell my story. Part of that story is the story of a VERY innocent young girl with no experience, getting drawn into a physical relationship… first just flirty and innocent and slowly it gets deeper and deeper. I am trying to be sensitive about handling this subject and there is a way. If you ever heard of or read Judy Blume books, she writes for fourth grade to adults. And some of my daughter’s Judy Blume books made me blush! But they were honest and she is an iconic author. If you ask any young girl in the past few decades who Judy Blume is… she is just as popular as the beloved Children’s author Beverly Cleary who attempted to write Fifteen for Junior High girls or young adults. To answer your question. I am working on conveying the message which I feel will come through as the story evolves. So in other words, Keri is leading to the message as she writes her entries.

      Thank you for your time and attention. I love to hear your opinions. I guess this kind of feedback makes me realize that I think I just want to write this and see where it leads before I get anyone to spend time editing. I mean it is interesting and I love to hear your ideas but it seems to me that it might be a waste of your time until I have a stack of pages and can say… okay so here it is… tell me what you think! 😉
      Hugs as always!

      I think you can include

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