Journal Entry #20

Dear Journal,

Well, my mom and Lonnie are in Seattle and my dad is traveling so much that it is hard to keep up with if he is home or not but he calls me everyday and I am supposed to be checking in and staying at Laurie’s when he is out of town. Now that school is out, Jack and I drive together in the morning and come home at night. Liz like’s me working full time and I have to admit that it is pretty nice having my own money. I put most of it away. Jack spoils me and won’t let me pay when we go out. So I try to make lunch for us and pack it and I usually eat through lunch anyway. Sometimes Jack will come and pick me up and we will go get something quick. But Liz is beginning to depend on me more and sometimes I am the only one in the office.

The other day one of the truckers came in and asked me to hold something. He motioned for me to hold out my hand and I did and when I realized that he had poured a bunch of “whites” in my hand I pulled my hand away and they spilled all over my desk. He and the other guys laughed. They think I am innocent. And well yeah, when it comes to stuff like that I am!

white pills on a desk

 

I guess they take them to stay awake but I hate drugs and Jack didn’t think it was a bit funny when I told him about it. Though for the most part, they are nice guys. I love to look inside their cabs. Some of them even have refrigerators and toilets and one even had a water bed! He told me I could try it out but I rolled my eyes and said “NO thanks!” I am beginning to catch on to their jokes.

 

Liz seems to be showing up less. I think that she and Richard might be having trouble. I can tell that Jack is worried. Things are tense when she is around so I like it when she is not there. I know how to answer the phones and do the billing now and if I can’t answer a question, I just take a message and know someone will answer it. Jack has been telling me about some horrible dreams he has been having about his childhood. I think being around his mom more stirs up a lot of pain and memories. He has been doing so well and his mom seems proud of him. I really have not seen her evil side yet but he keeps assuring me it is there. He kind of reminds me of a little boy just wanting to please his mom. It makes me so sad.

fog couple2

I’m a vapor falling upon your skin

You are my favorite scent

I breathe you in

Your words have filled me

Your sorrow has killed me

crying couple

I try to pull you out of your pain

and watch you wander there again and again.

I want to kiss your sadness away

to erase your memory of yesterday.

sad corner boy

but a thousand kisses can’t pay the debt

kissing

or pay the ransom that will make you forget.

Keri London

1974 c

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