As I forget to breathe

heart in hand with bandaidew

My heart has many cracks now,

though I brought it to you whole.

I freely gave you all of me,

though you had to steal more.

 My breath is tangled with a sob

as I forget to breathe.

My heart has hardened in the places

where it once believed.

Keri London

1977

 

 

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18 thoughts on “As I forget to breathe

  1. I can hear and see the young girl who only wanted to love and be loved. It is so sad that she hooked up with someone who had so many blocks and a misguided idea of what love is. I am all too aware how this early influence of “love” can warp the reality of the uplifting, all encompassing, wrapped in light, divine feeling that love “is.” I pray for you Di, that you stay safely wrapped in the cocoon of self love that opens the door for all love to flow.
    Blessitude 🙂

    • Lorrie,
      your words are beautiful. When I read reviews of other people’s books, some bring me to tears. I can only imagine their joy when they read how someone so important just gets what they have worked so hard to write.
      Kind of like when someone receives an academy award, I cry because I feel their joy. Especially when they thank their moms lol. Since my daughter is an actress. It is when someone understands. Thank you. I know you do♡
      And… Thank you for affirming me. When you share such a vulnerable part of yourself, it is great validation when someone says what you did here. I am so touched by those who really have taken the time to read my story. It’s amazing! I pray that I can tie it all together in a way can teach others influenced by early love that might be warped and keep them stuck all their lives by not understanding that it’s not their fault.
      xoxo
      k
      aka di 🙂

    • Toxi!
      I am soooo sorry that it has taken me this long to respond to your comment! I have just gone through them all and wanted to thank you for reading and taking the time to comment!
      xoxo
      k

  2. “It is when someone understands”…yes! I feel I have spent a lifetime trying to make people understand…and all along I was the one who needed the missing info!!!! But I have it now…and I am so grateful. Because with my understanding I “get” you …and you “get” me! Beautiful!!! 🙂

  3. A beautiful and sad ode Di. This tells me that Keri is beginning to sense things are not all right in the relationship. I hope this is the light for her as sad as she is. 🙂

    • Debbie;
      Keri has always written these. She seemed to write better when she was in moments of revelation. But there are more and many attempts to be the hero and fixer. And trying to find the joy. In our reconnection years later Jack said once… “I always thought you were just using me to play house or play out something that you imagined.” And without missing a beat I replied, “well of course I was. How many eighteen year olds do you know that think that they are in love, don’t play house with their lovers?” I loved getting a chance to say that. He always made me feel like I was doing it all wrong. When he really was one making it
      up as he went along. And admitted as much.

  4. The poem expressed the pain well. I think of all of the talent and beauty in this young woman that you were, and all of the love you so readily gave, only to be treated so badly in return. 😦

  5. Pingback: PEACE, JUSTICE & BEAUTY | Carol Balawyder

    • Carol,
      Thank you! Okay so I am going to come clean and ask you what does it mean when someone displays those brackets? I know it must be something good. I have seen it before and just thanked people but I am comfortable enough with you to show my ignorance and ask what it means? :/ 🙂

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