(I owe you a few month of catch up and I intend to do it today! So please bear with me as I try to enter it all here now. I will still enter it chronologically but I just wanted to explain why I am going to post so many at once!)
The other night Jack lay on the floor with me as I read C’s letters to Annie. She sounded so sad and he thought it was cute that I started crying in the middle of reading one of them out loud to him. I just told him that it was all so sad. I laughed too. But I’m not sure if he’s even interested or “gets” why I connect with them so much, but I feel as if they are my letters now and that I need to protect their story. Who knows maybe I will write it someday. I wish that I still had Mrs Walker around to share them with.
Yesterday I was mowing the lawn and the wheel fell off of the mower again. And Jessie came over with his wrench. I think it was the third time. We laughed about it and he showed me how to fix it myself and told me that he had an extra wrench and pulled another one out of his back pocket with a red bow that I am sure Louise had tied on it, and he told me that it was “my” special house warming gift just for “me” and I gave him a kiss on the cheek to thank him!
When Jack came home, he saw the wrench on the table and asked what it was. And I told him about the wheel that keeps falling off and he just said “Oh. The lawn looks nice babe.” I am not sure what else I wanted him to say. Maybe laugh with me about it or… I don’t know but it gave me a sad feeling. Later he asked me what was wrong and I just kind of shrugged and he told me, “You need to stop reading those letters.” I snapped my head up to look at him seriously, because I “can’t stop” I just can’t. When he saw my reaction, then he laughed.