Can I Call You?

computer instant message


One late night when Keri was up in her study working on her book, she heard an Instant Message notification and switched her screen to the Internet and saw Jack’s name and an invitation to chat. Keri thought for a minute. Face book messages and emails seemed harmless but there was something so much more personal about Instant Messages, it was almost like a phone call. Keri leaned her head in her hands and then looked up again and without really thinking it through typed back “Hi”

computer man at night

At first the conversation was formal and then slowly they started a back and forth banter asking each other a lot of do you remembers. And then Jack talked about his work and shared that he attributed all of his success for the foot in the door her father had given him all those years ago. He said he’d never even known about computers and how they were his life now. He shared how successful he was and Keri’s heart felt a tug and typed back; “He would be so proud of you.” And Jack shared about how he called when her father died and Keri typed back “Really?” I never knew!!” Jack replied, “Yeah you were married by then, and your mom answered the phone and was pretty distraught and the conversation was just short and sweet. But I got the message.” Keri sat there as her mind re-winded. So many emotions filled her at that moment. And then Keri typed. “I’ve always felt guilty about your mom.” Jack shot back, “Why?!” Keri shared how she always felt that he’d felt that she’d caused him not to go and save her, that if he went sooner, he would have found her in time. “Oh baby, he typed, I never felt that way! Years later my dad shared with me in a counseling session that mom attempted suicide seventeen times!” Keri felt a flood of emotions and a rush of relief. It was almost as if a physical weight lifted. Tears filled her eyes. She’d carried this burden for all of these years and she could finally let it go.

phone message2

Jack typed. “Can I call you?” Keri froze. And typed back. “Jack, what are we doing?” But then typed in her phone number. And then her phone rang. “Hi” Keri answered. “Hi” Jack said in a rich male voice that gave her a funny feeling. “You sound so different but the same!” Keri said. “You sound exactly the same.” He replied warmly. “I was never going to give you my phone number she said.” He smiled and said “I already had it. You forgot to erase one of your signatures in the very beginning of one of our letters to each other but then you started erasing them so I figured you’d forgotten to erase the one I saw.” She felt her face grow red. “Well yeah, I guess I needed to trust that you weren’t going to do something crazy.” He laughed.

Soon they began texting and he began calling her regularly. She never called him nor initiated any of the texts at first but she’d answer and somehow convinced herself that she was just answering him and doing anything wrong. But she knew that she was stretching boundary lines and it had all become addicting. She’d been caught off guard for this need for the attention he was giving her. Though, she knew that it would take only one more step to fall down the rabbit hole and she was holding on for dear life.


To be continued….









12 thoughts on “Can I Call You?

  1. That this would begin while working on the book. That just blows me away. I could see where having Jack already so much in your thoughts would give him an advantage in any manipulative schemes he had been concocting. We are a lot more fragile than we realize.

    • Yeah me too Theresa…
      I still feel that this was all a God Thing. I just think that “we” ruined the plan HE had for us. This has made me wonder how many other doors God has opened that I blew. I really feel that God was preparing my heart for a blessing but we got greedy and grabbed the apple! 😦 However I am determined to right a wrong and share a redeeming message in all this!

  2. I really can identify with what you have said. I have a take on the whole getting it right thing.that is kind of hard to explain. I see something in your heart revealed through your writing. Plus our God is a God of restoration. I wrote a poem once at one of my blogs called ‘Hide and Seek: A Portrait of Mercy”. Ithink you would like it.

    • I would LOVE to read it thank you. I do pray that I can write a redeeming message at the end. And hope that I have already weaved an example of how as young girls we get caught up in giving away our power to try to make a boy happy. And how sometimes, we can’t see what everyone else clearly can. And that it is not our job to change anyone but to continue to grow. And that even as experienced adults we can totally get caught up in being a lost version of our younger self in the name of closure. How crazy it can be to feel so entitled to partake in helping ourselves to something that stretches the boundaries of EVERY thing we have always deemed wrong and to lose all sense of reality as we know it. To ALSO be aware of how quickly it can happen.

  3. And so you leave us hanging at the end of the beginning, where the circle starts again. When he called you baby, would have been a huge flag if nothing else was that he still cares for you. Most people have the one certain significant relationship in their life that seems to dangle in the back burner of our mind. You read my first book so you know well that I understand this. You know I can’t wait to know what prevails at this point. Di, you don’t have to wait years for a publisher, JUST DO IT YOURSELF! xo 🙂

  4. You know YOU will be privy to my rough draft if you want to be once it’s completed. 😉
    Maybe I am dreaming but I think that I’d
    like to actually try to find a publisher before I go the self publishing route again. I’ve been there and done that. Maybe it’s changed since I did it. But I really want someone who will promote and market which is what I lacked the last time around. I don’t need to publish it just for the sake of saying I did. Last time I did that and it cost me. This time I at least want to try to put it out there. Maybe I will be able to wallpaper my room with rejection letters but for now that is my plan.

    • How do you thank someone for giving you something that money could never buy? Thank you soooo much! And on top of everything… It means so MUCH that it is “you” reading!!!

  5. The book is done! I am just working on the poetry I’d like to include in it. I am using Keri’s Journal to do it, since it might be confusing to my readers on my other blog who don’t know the story. So just wanted you to know that I will be adding poems that are purely fictional and not what is going on in my life now. (for the most part.) A tiny piece of my heart will always have a place in the past, where old shadows linger.

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