And I wonder

smoke

Like a vapor

clearly visible

appearing

and

disappearing

breathe

you yanked me back

into a place

and then left

without a trace

sad girl staring out window

I want to

cry

and

scream

and shake you,

I want to run

and catch

and break you

sad break up

And I wonder…

was it you?

Or just a time

in my life

you took me

back to

doorknob

that made

it all seem

so much like

magic?

 girl with round light

Keri London 1977©

Wanderin Endlessly Backwards


looking back girl

Wandering endlessly backwards

as the songs we played still fall on my heart

computer2

Backing away instead of staying,

trying to make sense of what’s fallen apart

 sad break up

Knowing love’s not so simple ,

sometimes, more than words can describe

girl in the rain sitting

like running in the rain barefoot,

while others just stay inside.

looking out the window2

Keri London

1977©

The “YOU” inside my head

window seat girl

The shadows still block the light

and yet  sunshine flickers through.

When I wash my car, even now,

I always think of you!

washing cars

Why do my memories seem

like a valued work of art?

Why is it that yesterday

is still trapped inside my heart?

sad girl staring out window

Am I just in love with the boy

that I wanted you to be,

even though today,

you are but a stranger now to me?

couple at end of dock

It makes me wonder if I was just in love

with the “you” inside my head,

just a figment of my imagination

a mere fantasy instead…

peter pan never grow up

An escape from reality,

a place that I softly fall,

a love that I used to know

that meant the most of all?

computer2

Or was it ever really real,

that place I’d wander to…

The Neverland of make believe

where I thought that I’d find you?

Keri London

1977©

I hand you my heart as it hangs from my sleeve

young kids sitting on a ledge
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m in love with the past
that everything that was supposed to be, just couldn’t last
I tell you that my heart is cold and my soul is numb
and that what we once had, well, was just me being dumb

couple riding piggy back

I try to tell you things that I don’t really believe
As I hand you my heart, as it hangs from my sleeve
I continue to rant about my love for the past
and the way it all rushed by far too fast

couple sitting together

I was in love with THAT time of life not really you
I don’t want to be cruel but then maybe I do
For there were times yourself, when you weren’t very nice
and you came back to hurt me not just once but now twice!
So I’ve come back to hurt you first, here instead
And ask you nicely to get the hell OUT of my head!

Keri London 2015 ©

To Not Know Where You Went…

Some days I can wake up and…

you won’t be the first thing on my mind

crying girll 

But slowly, as my day begins,

you are there as my heart rewinds

peeking through the front door

I still can’t go a whole day,

but now I can go several hours,

without my heart feeling  as if it’s been

scraped upon the ground

sad woman2

I don’t look for you as I once did,

But I don’t need to, you’re always there

lonely window

Though I don’t wander through your life anymore

It’s not because I don’t care.

I just had to find my way back to my life now

to find a way to let go somehow….

phone message2

Sometimes it’s harder to catch my breath

as your memory fills my head like a scent

And other times it is like a relief

just to not know where you went.

Keri…

 letting go poem2

Indiscretions

computer instant message

Indiscretions

Like a scent that stills my soul, you come into my life.

You knock upon my door, though I’m someone else’s wife.

My morals have been tempted, as you hold the only key,

slowly giving back pieces of the younger parts of me.

couple riding piggy back

They fall like a puzzle, in a pile at my feet

As I watch a stranger plan with you, how we both will meet.

My life becomes a web of lies, as I crave to smell again,

the scent that led me, into this dangerous lion’s den.

hugging3

We do the dance for months, until I close the door,

telling you I just can’t be this stranger anymore.

And so I return to the life where I feel that I belong.

I ask you to move on and tell you to be strong.

computer man at night

And yet I know you linger, and you are watching me.

Sometimes I wonder, if my heart will ever be set free.

For that scent is on our skin, from all those years ago,

I still smell it every now and then, and  needed you to know.

Diane Reed

2014©

girl staring at computer screen

#62 YOU CAN’T HAVE ME NOW

praying man B&w

I am lost in your shadow

as I bathe in your tears.

You can’t have me now

so stop following me here!

future past present signs

I won’t be charmed

by your pleas and your sighs.

For my tears have cleared

the sight in my eyes.

You captured my heart

like  birds who fly into their cages.

bird cage

your words were like whispers

upon old folded pages.

folded page A

Your love haunted me

until I finally gave in,

But it was too late for us,

for… we began at the end.

Keri London

1977

#59 That’s When I Began To Understand You Were Someone In My past That Taught Me Love Doesn’t Last

 crying quote

 

I’ve cried all the tears I’m going to cry,

for a while I thought that I would die.

My pain scared me, it hurt so much.           

I finally knew I’d had enough.

You took everything   I had to give

And then left me broken just like this

holding my heart in my hands

that’s when I  began  to understand

You were going to be someone in my past

that taught me;  forever  doesn’t last.        

And that promises are all just lies…

and  even true love sometimes dies.

Keri London

1977

The House on Country Road

forties porch

 The house on Country Road is empty now
The shadows hesitate as the memories linger

Liz
No love is lost as my heart goes back
listening for the melody of the singer

forties shadows dooe

The scent of lives once lived inside the walls
stays upon my skin like notes inside my head

forties smoking

So strange the way life once so alive,
is the part inside of me that is now most dead.

Keri London

1977