Journal Entry #21 My Summer Job

Dear Journal,

I feel the tension in the air. On Friday nights I have found myself sitting on my floor typing out invoices that I can’t get done at work because I am doing Liz’s job too. I am not sure what is going on. The first month, she was there everyday and was such a wonderful teacher. She said I was a fast learner and Jack seemed so proud. I guess that is a good thing because she hasn’t been IN a lot this month.

writing matters

She has not been feeling well and not been coming in. Richard seems very sad. This company was his mom’s and once when we were talking he told me that sometimes he just wants to go find a broom pushing job and be done with it all. He says he is tired. I felt so bad for him. He just wanted someone to talk to so I stopped and listened and let him talk and he poured his heart out. I wasn’t sure what to say because I’ve never really heard my parent’s fight. But he just seemed happy to have someone to talk to. He just sat there with his hands folded on his desk looking so lost.

hands folded on desk

He said he doesn’t care about the money or the houses or the cars and boats anymore and that he would be happy living on his sailboat that he has docked at the Marina or just a small room somewhere.

sailboat docked2

He just wants to go anywhere where there is not fighting.  Jack seems worried and pretty stressed out and doesn’t seem so happy at work anymmore either. I think that he just wants a normal family so bad and so believed that if we all worked together it would all magically be okay. But it’s not. Like I said, Liz has been a good teacher but I am afraid that I can only do so much. It is pretty busy and one of the truckers that works for Richard  has come in to help me, but for the most part. I am alone in the office and somedays I just want to cry. I think Jack has come into the office a few times when I was just about to, and sat down to answer the phones to try to help out. But there really should be more than two people in there, it is so busy.

typing at desk

I turned 18 right before summer and so I have started looking for dental assisting jobs. The plan was that I would just work for part of the summer anyway so I will finish out next month and  will have saved up enough from my pay checks for my dad to help me buy a car.  I only have a few units left to finish  my Senior year and am hoping  to graduate in December so I can work my way into a full time job somewhere else. I keep looking over at that empty desk and wonder if Jack’s mom is ever coming back.

desk empty corner

 My summer has definitely not turned out to be the way Laurie and I imagined it would be. So much for having the summer off! Jack and I are almost done with our Soaring lessons. We have been faithfully going every Saturday. Sometimes we spend the night in Corona at a motel or we have even camped in a tent at Lake Elsinore. My instructor Glen is so sweet. He is about fifty and from Scotland. He has this great accent and everytime he greets me he says; “Top of the morning!” Instead of hello. So I had a tee shirt made for him and plan to give it to him when I finally solo. Jack is talking about buying a plane. He made friends with an older man named Steve who flies at the Glider Port. He already has a power license and his solo license . He has talked to Jack about maybe buying one together as co-owners. We met him a few weeks ago to look at one in Hemet but it is just a one seater. But that is just fine with me. The plan is that they will take turns sharing it, every other weekend.


glidersI know that I can’t suggest it until we have both soloed, because I want to finish what I started. But I really have no desire to do anything more than to maybe say that I actually soloed.  I was hoping that Jack might make some friends of his own so that I can hang out with my friends. They are beginning to get annoyed and Laurie wants me to help her move to her dorms. I am not sure how to bring it up. I am sure he is going to feel that I don’t want to be with him but that’s not it at all. I just want to be with my friends too.

friends talking at a round table