Just Like Magic

older couple at the beach

I never thought I’d feel like this again,

And yet…Nothing has changed~

For once again it is about your pain.

couple in back seat

You asked me to forgive you and so I did.

For after all I said, we were “just kids.”

sad couple on beach

Forgiveness is such a simple word,

almost like a magical choice,

an eraser that removes the memories,

of all those times you raised your voice.

Or the silence of  a hundred nights,

from the aftermath of a thousand fights.

Just like magic and POUF it’s gone.

A simple act that rights all wrong.

I might have been able to forget but in the end,

You made it all about  you again.

sad man reading

Keri London

2011©

Advertisements

The One That Got Away

sad break up

It all seems like a dream now,

you finding me, all these years later,

trying to pull back the years from yesterday.

I let you in, I closed my eyes and jumped.

All the years in-between vanished.

It was just you and me in that moment,

skin against skin, hearts beating, raging, stopping.

breathing, tasting, rushing.

Breathless memories crashing, youth returning.

Falling in love with each other or just the past?

Never really truly knowing.

And the struggle between the reality and the fantasy,

well it never let us hang on tight enough.

You slipped away just as quickly as you appeared,

beyond all of my values and morals and what people might say.

I allowed you in.

Why?

Maybe because I still loved you.

Maybe because I hated you so much for hurting me

that I wanted you to know what you lost,

What you could have had,

What you didn’t fight for all those years ago,

And maybe it was a little of both

Maybe it is just nice to know now  that there is someone out there…

someone wanting me,

that believes that I was the one that got away.

The “YOU” inside my head

window seat girl

The shadows still block the light

and yet  sunshine flickers through.

When I wash my car, even now,

I always think of you!

washing cars

Why do my memories seem

like a valued work of art?

Why is it that yesterday

is still trapped inside my heart?

sad girl staring out window

Am I just in love with the boy

that I wanted you to be,

even though today,

you are but a stranger now to me?

couple at end of dock

It makes me wonder if I was just in love

with the “you” inside my head,

just a figment of my imagination

a mere fantasy instead…

peter pan never grow up

An escape from reality,

a place that I softly fall,

a love that I used to know

that meant the most of all?

computer2

Or was it ever really real,

that place I’d wander to…

The Neverland of make believe

where I thought that I’d find you?

Keri London

1977©

To Not Know Where You Went…

Some days I can wake up and…

you won’t be the first thing on my mind

crying girll 

But slowly, as my day begins,

you are there as my heart rewinds

peeking through the front door

I still can’t go a whole day,

but now I can go several hours,

without my heart feeling  as if it’s been

scraped upon the ground

sad woman2

I don’t look for you as I once did,

But I don’t need to, you’re always there

lonely window

Though I don’t wander through your life anymore

It’s not because I don’t care.

I just had to find my way back to my life now

to find a way to let go somehow….

phone message2

Sometimes it’s harder to catch my breath

as your memory fills my head like a scent

And other times it is like a relief

just to not know where you went.

Keri…

 letting go poem2

Indiscretions

computer instant message

Indiscretions

Like a scent that stills my soul, you come into my life.

You knock upon my door, though I’m someone else’s wife.

My morals have been tempted, as you hold the only key,

slowly giving back pieces of the younger parts of me.

couple riding piggy back

They fall like a puzzle, in a pile at my feet

As I watch a stranger plan with you, how we both will meet.

My life becomes a web of lies, as I crave to smell again,

the scent that led me, into this dangerous lion’s den.

hugging3

We do the dance for months, until I close the door,

telling you I just can’t be this stranger anymore.

And so I return to the life where I feel that I belong.

I ask you to move on and tell you to be strong.

computer man at night

And yet I know you linger, and you are watching me.

Sometimes I wonder, if my heart will ever be set free.

For that scent is on our skin, from all those years ago,

I still smell it every now and then, and  needed you to know.

Diane Reed

2014©

girl staring at computer screen

#62 YOU CAN’T HAVE ME NOW

praying man B&w

I am lost in your shadow

as I bathe in your tears.

You can’t have me now

so stop following me here!

future past present signs

I won’t be charmed

by your pleas and your sighs.

For my tears have cleared

the sight in my eyes.

You captured my heart

like  birds who fly into their cages.

bird cage

your words were like whispers

upon old folded pages.

folded page A

Your love haunted me

until I finally gave in,

But it was too late for us,

for… we began at the end.

Keri London

1977

#59 That’s When I Began To Understand You Were Someone In My past That Taught Me Love Doesn’t Last

 crying quote

 

I’ve cried all the tears I’m going to cry,

for a while I thought that I would die.

My pain scared me, it hurt so much.           

I finally knew I’d had enough.

You took everything   I had to give

And then left me broken just like this

holding my heart in my hands

that’s when I  began  to understand

You were going to be someone in my past

that taught me;  forever  doesn’t last.        

And that promises are all just lies…

and  even true love sometimes dies.

Keri London

1977

The House on Country Road

forties porch

 The house on Country Road is empty now
The shadows hesitate as the memories linger

Liz
No love is lost as my heart goes back
listening for the melody of the singer

forties shadows dooe

The scent of lives once lived inside the walls
stays upon my skin like notes inside my head

forties smoking

So strange the way life once so alive,
is the part inside of me that is now most dead.

Keri London

1977

A Poem About Anger

I Fell In Love With Your Pain

hugging couple in the rain

I think in the beginning

Maybe just a little…

 I fell in love with your pain

hugging2

I wanted to hold you inside

 and let you in

to gather you up

 kissing standing up

and help you let go

And now did you know

that you spit a little

arguing couple

when you yell?

Keri London

1974

Journal Entry #20

Dear Journal,

Well, my mom and Lonnie are in Seattle and my dad is traveling so much that it is hard to keep up with if he is home or not but he calls me everyday and I am supposed to be checking in and staying at Laurie’s when he is out of town. Now that school is out, Jack and I drive together in the morning and come home at night. Liz like’s me working full time and I have to admit that it is pretty nice having my own money. I put most of it away. Jack spoils me and won’t let me pay when we go out. So I try to make lunch for us and pack it and I usually eat through lunch anyway. Sometimes Jack will come and pick me up and we will go get something quick. But Liz is beginning to depend on me more and sometimes I am the only one in the office.

The other day one of the truckers came in and asked me to hold something. He motioned for me to hold out my hand and I did and when I realized that he had poured a bunch of “whites” in my hand I pulled my hand away and they spilled all over my desk. He and the other guys laughed. They think I am innocent. And well yeah, when it comes to stuff like that I am!

white pills on a desk

 

I guess they take them to stay awake but I hate drugs and Jack didn’t think it was a bit funny when I told him about it. Though for the most part, they are nice guys. I love to look inside their cabs. Some of them even have refrigerators and toilets and one even had a water bed! He told me I could try it out but I rolled my eyes and said “NO thanks!” I am beginning to catch on to their jokes.

 

Liz seems to be showing up less. I think that she and Richard might be having trouble. I can tell that Jack is worried. Things are tense when she is around so I like it when she is not there. I know how to answer the phones and do the billing now and if I can’t answer a question, I just take a message and know someone will answer it. Jack has been telling me about some horrible dreams he has been having about his childhood. I think being around his mom more stirs up a lot of pain and memories. He has been doing so well and his mom seems proud of him. I really have not seen her evil side yet but he keeps assuring me it is there. He kind of reminds me of a little boy just wanting to please his mom. It makes me so sad.

fog couple2

I’m a vapor falling upon your skin

You are my favorite scent

I breathe you in

Your words have filled me

Your sorrow has killed me

crying couple

I try to pull you out of your pain

and watch you wander there again and again.

I want to kiss your sadness away

to erase your memory of yesterday.

sad corner boy

but a thousand kisses can’t pay the debt

kissing

or pay the ransom that will make you forget.

Keri London

1974 c